Which Witch?

Which Witch? by Eva Ibbotson
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Kindly white witch Beladonna has never been able to do black magic, but when the handsome wizard Arriman sets a contest to find the wickedest witch to be his bride, she is determined to give it her best shot.

Beladonna has her work cut out for her if she wants to shake her embarrassing affinity for begonias and cute woodland creatures, but she is helped out in the contest by an orphan named Terence Mugg. Terence owns a pink earthworm named Rover, and Rover seems to be just the familiar to help Beladonna accomplish the necessary nastiness.

The good witch's competition is her own coven - and each witch is icky in her own way, accompanied by a familiar (none of the black cat variety, but far more ingeniously odd). The contest is inventive and sometimes even scary: Madame Olympia's hideous Symphony of Death is a stomach-turning trick that H. P. Lovecraft would have been proud to write.

The side characters are as fun as the witches - I particularly liked Mr. Leadbetter, Arriman's tailed but rather ordinary secretary, who enjoys watching Miss Universe competitions. There is also Arriman's silent friend, a creepy wife-killer ghost named Sir Simon: Sir Simon's fate is amusing and appropriate (actually, if Ibbotson had written a sequel about that relationship I would read it in a heartbeat).

Ibbotson's witches possess a Charles Addams type of evil (you may want to check out The Addams Family: Evilution if you're a fan of macabre humor). They have an affinity for creepy-crawly things but doing little actual harm to innocent strangers - with the exception of the truly wicked Madame Olympia, whose evil is just a tad too evil for everyone's taste. If you want real wickedness, you'll have to turn to Roald Dahl's The Witches.

The BFG

The BFG by Roald Dahl
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

When Sophie is carried away from her orphanage one night by a giant, she fears the worst - but the dream-catching, snozzcumber-eating, whizzpopper-producing BFG is quite unlike his child-devouring relatives.

Dahl's books are full of humor that adults find horrifying and children find hilarious. The other giants - with vivid monikers like Fleshlumpeater, Childchewer, and Bloodbottler - are ferocious but only almost as disgusting as the Twits (definitely crueler than the three farmers, though). There are quite a few slyly told fart jokes here, plus jabs at yucky vegetables and foolish adults.

Sophie is an admirable heroine, taking her outlandish adventures in stride. She is a tiny David, bravely plotting to save the people of the world from gluttonous Goliaths. (She's also another British orphan who wears glasses and befriends giants - I sense a theme.)

The BFG is a particularly Dahl-esque character. He's lovable, but odd: "Sophie watched with astonishment. What a strange and moody creature this is, she thought. One moment he is telling me my head is full of squashed flies and the next moment his heart is melting for me because Mrs. Clonkers locks us in the cellar." He also has a unique way of talking - the giant on his usual food: " 'It's disgusterous!' the BFG gurgled. 'It's sickable! It's rotsome! It's maggotwise! Try it yourself, this foulsome snozzcumber!' "

If you're looking for another funny children's classic that makes adults uneasy, check out Which Witch by Eva Ibbotson. For a classic David verses Goliath tale (where Goliath is actually a truck), try The Pushcart War by Jean Merrill.

In closing:

• Dahl's British sense of humor: "If you can think of anything more terrifying than that happening to you in the middle of the night, then let's hear about it."
• A butler named Mr. Tibbs who is the equal of Jeeves and whose description is a great vocabulary builder: "A man does not rise to become the Queen's butler unless he is gifted with extraordinary ingenuity, adaptability, versatility, dexterity, cunning, sophistication, sagacity, discretion, and a host of other talents that neither you nor I possess."
• Cameo by an unflappable Queen Elizabeth! Her nose is distinctly recognizable, thanks to Quentin Blake's always-charming illustrations.