Growing up, I read Florence King's column because my parents had a subscription to The National Review. She was my favorite part of the entire magazine, mostly because of her way with words. I realize now how she reminds me of Oscar Wilde, Ambrose Bierce, P.G. Wodehouse, and a touch of David Sedaris.
And I wish that I had encountered her memoir, Confessions of a Failed Southern Lady, years ago. I heard of this book only because she died in the first week of 2016 at age 80. She makes misanthropy funny, and is scathingly honest. She's also a conservative feminist, which is a rare bird indeed.
Don't expect to read a placid 1950s coming-of-age story a la The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid (a book I truly enjoyed, BTW). Do expect sex. LOTS of sex. And a woman whose family overlooks Christmas only because of "the din made by the Different Drummer Corps that marched back and forth across the parade grounds of our minds" (205).
Be prepared, too, for a stunning third act that turns this light fluff of a biography into something more. It is poignant, sad, and cathartic. I'm adding Florence King into my list of favorite writers, and look forward to reading more of her work.
So Quotable:
On her parent's first meeting: "It was a bad start but the gin helped." - 17
"Expecting Granny to stay away from an unformed blob of female material was like expecting a cobra to stay away from a flute." - 29
"A man who wears a tuxedo while emptying the garbage at four A.M. is bound to have strange children." - 33
"Today I admire her lack of vocation for motherhood, but at four I was convinced that she was trying to murder me." - 42
"Whether or not I went crazy is impossible to say; a maniac could hide in my family as a leaf can hide in a forest." - 45
"Dimly I sensed that a female with a personality like mine has to make sure that she looks and smells good at all times, or as Henry Adams put it: 'Those who study Greek must take pains with their dress.'" - 81
Out of all the sports after joining the Marines: "I picked riding because it gave me a chance to sit down." - 148
"I inadvertently encouraged him by laughing - at him - but incapable of discerning the difference, he soon believed himself to be the heir of Swift and Wilde." - 240 (Spoken like a true misanthrope!)
Showing posts with label Ambrose Bierce. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ambrose Bierce. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 19, 2016
Friday, March 15, 2013
Three Free Books
Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K. Jerome (1859-1927)
I came across the name of this comic novel in Connie Willis' fantastic time-travel novel To Say Nothing of the Dog. The hero of that novel undergoes a Victorian trip up a river (with said dog), and is constantly reminded of Jerome K. Jerome's three men. I love British humor--and funny novels in general--so I've added it to my list for one of those days when I just need a boost.
A Princess of Mars by Edgar Rice Burroughs (1875-1950)
John Carter is a Civil War veteran who finds himself mysteriously transported to Mars, where he is held captive by Green Men, meets a gorgeous alien princess, and fights a battle to save Barsoom. (Barsoom is the native name for Mars.) You may or may not remember the giant flop that was Disney's John Carter. Well, that was based on this series of eleven enormously popular science fantasy novels by Edgar Rice Burroughs (the man who brought us Tarzan of the Apes, also coincidentally a Disney film).
The Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce (1842-?)
Journalist and short-story writer Ambrose Bierce's acerbic wit is legendary, and you've probably heard many of the cynical definitions in his Dictionary without realizing where they came from--he's often quoted without proper attribution. The definitions were initially published a feature in a newspaper in 1881 and were later collected in a book. Here's a sampling:
LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder. [...] It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than to the patient.
PATIENCE, n. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.
PRAY, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
SELFISH, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
I could continue, but you should really just get the book for free at Gutenberg. Just be warned: he wasn't called Bitter Bierce for nothing!
Books aside, Bierce himself is an interesting historical figure. For one thing, he looked like this around 1866:
(I'm digging the mustache.Short bio and bibliography here.)
For another, you might have noticed the question mark for his date of death. Some people put it around 1913 or 1914, when at the age of 71 he was in Mexico to observe the Mexican Revolution (led by Pancho Villa) and vanished without a trace.
So you have a cynical, acid-tongued journalist who at the age of 71, controversial in his day, who vanished under mysterious circumstances. Intriguing. His disappearance is one of the great unsolved historical mysteries, and we may never know what really happened to Bitter Bierce.
I came across the name of this comic novel in Connie Willis' fantastic time-travel novel To Say Nothing of the Dog. The hero of that novel undergoes a Victorian trip up a river (with said dog), and is constantly reminded of Jerome K. Jerome's three men. I love British humor--and funny novels in general--so I've added it to my list for one of those days when I just need a boost.
A Princess of Mars by Edgar Rice Burroughs (1875-1950)
John Carter is a Civil War veteran who finds himself mysteriously transported to Mars, where he is held captive by Green Men, meets a gorgeous alien princess, and fights a battle to save Barsoom. (Barsoom is the native name for Mars.) You may or may not remember the giant flop that was Disney's John Carter. Well, that was based on this series of eleven enormously popular science fantasy novels by Edgar Rice Burroughs (the man who brought us Tarzan of the Apes, also coincidentally a Disney film).
The Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce (1842-?)
Journalist and short-story writer Ambrose Bierce's acerbic wit is legendary, and you've probably heard many of the cynical definitions in his Dictionary without realizing where they came from--he's often quoted without proper attribution. The definitions were initially published a feature in a newspaper in 1881 and were later collected in a book. Here's a sampling:
LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder. [...] It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than to the patient.
PATIENCE, n. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.
PRAY, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
SELFISH, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
I could continue, but you should really just get the book for free at Gutenberg. Just be warned: he wasn't called Bitter Bierce for nothing!
Books aside, Bierce himself is an interesting historical figure. For one thing, he looked like this around 1866:
(I'm digging the mustache.Short bio and bibliography here.)
For another, you might have noticed the question mark for his date of death. Some people put it around 1913 or 1914, when at the age of 71 he was in Mexico to observe the Mexican Revolution (led by Pancho Villa) and vanished without a trace.
So you have a cynical, acid-tongued journalist who at the age of 71, controversial in his day, who vanished under mysterious circumstances. Intriguing. His disappearance is one of the great unsolved historical mysteries, and we may never know what really happened to Bitter Bierce.
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