Men at Arms

Men at Arms by Terry Pratchett
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

A strange new plot is afoot in Ankh-Morpork's Assassin's Guild: one that threatens to draw the Watch and Captain Sam Vimes - on the eve of his retirement - into the path of a deadly new weapon.

Captain Samuel Vimes is soon to marry his dragon-loving aristocratic fiancée and give up his life as a beat cop. As Sam struggles with his impending wealth and union with blue-bloods, Sergeant Colon and Nobby Nobbs are in charge of training a diverse pool of Night Watch recruits: there is Detritus, a huge troll with a deadly salute, Cuddy, a dwarf with a grudge against trolls, and Angua, who is a shapely w - well, that would be telling.

The clear choice for Vimes' replacement is Corporal Carrot, a supernaturally likeable, huge and naïvely competent man raised by dwarfs. (I imagine him as a sort of ultra-charismatic Gary Cooper.) He becomes the lightning rod for an insane Assassin's plot to restore the monarchy.

Ankh-Morpork, the city with water dirty enough to walk across, is a character in its own right and a setting worth discussing. It barely manages its bubbling ethnic tensions without bloodshed. It is ruled by the cold-blooded Lord Vetinari, and contains Leonard da Quirm, the "most dangerous man in the world". It also can boast Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler (the most dangerous purveyor of sausages in the world), guilds of (ahem) seamstresses, clowns, and thieves; plus various nonhuman citizens including zombies, vampires, trolls, and keenly intelligent dogs. Oh, and Death is sure to make an appearance in a city this riotous.

It's not strictly necessary to read the previous Watch novel, Guards! Guards!, though I certainly recommend it. Another of the best Discworld novels is Night Watch, also about Sam Vimes (one of my all-time favorite Discworld characters).

But if you love smarter-than-average fantasy with a razor-sharp sense of humor, you've probably read most of Pratchett already. Might I also recommend Neil Gaiman?

Quotable:
"It was hard not to notice Carrot in a room. There were bigger people than him in the city. He didn't loom. He just seemed, without trying, to distort things around him. Everything became background to Corporal Carrot." - 99

"The river Ankh is probably the only river in the universe on which the investigators can chalk the outline of the corpse." - 109

"Cuddy had only been a guard for a few days, but already he had absorbed one important and basic fact: it is almost impossible for anyone to be in a street without breaking the law. There are a whole quiverful of offenses available to a policemen who wishes to pass the time of day with a citizen, ranging from Loitering with Intent through Obstruction to Lingering While Being the Wrong Color/Shape/Species/Sex." - 148

A Hat Full of Sky

A Hat Full of Sky by Terry Pratchett
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

When Tiffany Aching goes to the mountains to learn the art of witchcraft, she is soon targeted by an immortal creature, one that not even the bold Nac Mac Feegles can fight for her.

This second Tiffany Aching book is probably my favorite. I love the story of the apprentice learning her craft, and discovering that there is more in the world than she ever imagined. Leaving behind her beloved Chalk, Tiffany finds that her new profession is less about flashy magic and more about caring for the old and lonely, making sure the goats are milked and no one is overlooked.

The witch community is introduced in the book. Miss Level, Tiffany's teacher, is a witch with a very unique talent. There are many other young witches, each with a different variety of magic: a sweet yng pig witch and a snooty spangle-wearer stand out.

In the Feegle mound, there is also a new kelda, Jeannie, who has suspicious views of Tiffany, which leaves the young witch vulnerable to the predations of an ancient creature called a hiver (who is one of Pratchett's most interesting creations).

In short, it's a stronger story than the first Aching book, and one that fans of this Discworld YA series will eagerly read. You might also pick up one of Neil Gaiman's YA novels: Coraline is my first favorite, but there is also The Graveyard Book. And to complete the trio of great authors, there is Diana Wynne Jones. (Definitely start with Howl's Moving Castle for the best introduction to her books.)

Monstrous Regiment

Monstrous Regiment by Terry Pratchett
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Polly cuts off her hair, names herself Oliver, and joins the army of Borogravia - only to discover that she may not be the only one in her regiment of fresh-faced recruits hiding a secret.

Borogravia is a backward place, with nothing to be proud of but its own excessive pride. This pride has led to endless belligerent warfare, ostensibly under the rule of a Duchess no one has seen in 30 years. Adding to the tiny duchy's woes is the insane god Nuggan decreeing everything an Abomination - from accordion players to cats, redheads, sneezing, and the color blue. Women dressed as men is an especially heinous abomination, you can bet your socks.

But Polly has a plan to save her big brother, so she follows him into the army. She joins up with other new recruits and they soon find themselves playing an important part in the war effort - in spite of their lack of training and supplies.

They are soon dubbed the Monstrous Regiment. The Monstrous Regiment is called such because it contains a Black Ribboner (a teetotaler vampire), a lisping Igor, a lichen-covered troll, and an assortment of humans - including one fervent Joan of Arc who believes she is in spiritual contact with the Duchess herself. (The original phrase Pratchett is playing with belonged to John Knox, and you can read about its origins here.) In fact, most of Polly's fellow recruits prove to be surprisingly feminine, each with his (or her) own reason for joining the army. Heck, even the warhorse is a mare, a fact unnoticed by a near-sighted lieutenant.

For me, this is one of the lesser Discworld novels. It lacks the fizz of Pratchett's best work, especially since the wheels of the plot turn heavily on coincidence and semi-divine intervention. Vimes makes an appearance, always a treat, but Polly, the main character, lacks depth. The supporting characters are much more interesting than she is (though I confess, I do like the implication that she's a natural-born noncommissioned officer).

Still, if you're interested in historical women who passed as men, there are plenty of great stories (from Shakespeare on down). Of course, anyone who likes this book can easily move to any of the other Discworld novels. If you lean towards feminist themes in your fiction, the Witches subseries is a great place to start.

Boy Oh Boy Am I a Boy Some Like It Hot at MOVIECLIPS.com

But let me diverge from tradition and recommend a few of the great cross-dressing movies instead of books (though I confess that my list skews to male cross-dressing comedies): First, one I consider to be among the greatest comedies of all time: Some Like It Hot, starring Marilyn Monroe, Jack Lemmon, and Tony Curtis. (Pratchett alludes to it by having one of his many, many cross-dressers assume the nom de guerre of Daphne, which is Lemmon's pseudonym in the film.) And modern drag comedies that aren't Mrs. Doubtfire? First, Tootsie, starring thespian Dustin Hoffman (plus Bill Murray!), then Robin Williams and Nathan Lane in The Birdcage. Thinking of going Shakespearean? Well, I have a soft spot in my heart for She's the Man. Don't judge!

I Shall Wear Midnight

I Shall Wear Midnight by Terry Pratchett
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Tiffany Aching, Chalk witch, must cope not only with everyday human failings of the people she watches over, but also the rise of an old evil that is out to destroy witches everywhere.

Tiffany is overstretched at the beginning of this book, but by the end (it's not really a spoiler to say it) witches seem to appear like mushrooms and there is no doubt that Tiffany is on her way to become one of the great hags (as the Feegles would say). Before that can happen, she must face the awkwardness of coming back to her sheep-raising community, which is unaccustomed to having a witch around - particularly one who is only sixteen years old.

Roland, the Baron's son, is engaged to a soppy young woman, and that adds a new layer of awkwardness given his past relationship with Tiffany. Tiffany is soon distracted by the plight of a young woman in a terrible home situation, the job of keeping peace in her community, and tending to the quotidian needs of the overlooked. Unfortunately, the young witch is being pursued by an ancient force known as the Cunning Man. Fortunately, the Kelda of the Nac Mac Feegles is there to provide guidance and friendship, and Tiffany is never far from the help of the blue-skinned Pictsies or of her fellow witches.

This book is sprawling and overstuffed compared to the other Aching books. Tiffany is always on the move from Feegle mound to Baron's castle to Ankh-Morpork (where, delightfully, we get a glimpse of the Watch's Commander Vimes, my favorite Discworld character, from Tiffany's perspective; and as a bonus a foundling finds his people). It's always a pleasure to follow Pratchett's characters and see them interact, particularly as they continue to do what they do best.

We get a glimpse of several important characters from Equal Rites, one of Pratchett's Discworld novels for adults. In an afterward, Pratchett mentions his personal experience growing up in a rural community like the one on the Chalk (which accounts for the realism of the details he chooses), and also points to a book where he drew the most striking images in I Shall Wear Midnight (even, in some ways, better than the title image) of the hare leaping through fire: The Leaping Hare by George Ewart Evans and David Thomson.

Wintersmith

Wintersmith by Terry Pratchett
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

When junior witch Tiffany Aching joins a dance of the seasons, she attracts the attention of the Wintersmith and needs all of her ingenuity to rebalance the world before it plunges into permanent winter.

Tiffany is still in the mountains completing her training under the many borrowed eyes of her blind mentor, Miss Treason. When they attend a Dark Morris one night, Tiffany joins in, little realizing that she's inserted herself into a far larger story. Now the Wintersmith is in love with her, and in the pursuit "it" is striving to become a "he". When spirits act like a smitten human boy, odd things tend to happen - like millions of identical Tiffany-faced snowflakes. While flattering, it's also terrifying, and Tiffany is determined to correct her mistake before anyone is hurt.

The young witch has other worries, too. The Nac Mac Feegle are still around causing trouble and watching over her. She has to preside over an unusual funeral and burial of one of the older witches, and help the witch's useless replacement, Anagramma, learn the ropes of caring for a community. Navigating the society of witches is always tricky, since witches are by definition bossy, opinionated, and self-confident. Tiffany also learns the magic of "Boffo" and how to disappear.

There are Pratchett's usual comedic touches to enjoy: one of my personal favorites is the dilemma of librarians stranded in the cold chalk country who are earnestly wondering what to burn next. Then there is Tiffany's critical reaction to the farm setting of a steamy romance novel procured for her by the Mac Feegles from said librarians. There are also appearances by Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg, two characters who appear in the Discworld Witches subseries.

For recommendations on what to read next, check out my review of the first Aching novel, The Wee Free Men.

The Wee Free Men

The Wee Free Men by Terry Pratchett
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

When the Queen of the Fairies steals her whiny little brother, witch-in-training Tiffany Aching joins with a rowdy group of tiny kilted men to rescue him.

This is the first of Pratchett's excellent YA Discworld series starring young witch Tiffany Aching as she grows up and into her considerable powers. It's full of Pratchett's usual wit and throwaway jokes - educations in sheep country, for example, are purchased with eggs or root vegetables - and introduces a female protagonist who is a worthy addition to the Witches of Discworld.

Witchcraft in Discworld is less about showy wand-waving and more about clever, clear-sighted women doing what needs to be done in their communities. In this spirit, Tiffany dispatches monsters with a frying pan and the uncommon sense granted to her by the gifts of First Sight and Second Thoughts. Her role model is her Granny Aching, a woman whose entire life was given to keeping sheep and influencing people with her quiet wisdom and power.

Tiffany stumbles into a clan of Pictsies known as the Nac Mac Feegle, a rowdy bunch of tiny blue men whose chief talents are fighting, drinking and stealing. They don't know the meaning of the word fear (not being great readers), and are only intimidated by lawyers and things written down - like arrest warrants and legal summonses. They are led by the appropriately named Rob Anybody, and primarily act as kicking, cursing comic relief.

For Pratchett, stories that obscure truth or try to make reality too simple are the real evil. The worst kind of sight, worse than being blind, is seeing things only as you think they should be instead of as they are. (He steals a good idea from C.S. Lewis's The Voyage of the Dawn Treader in creating a world where "dreams come true", then asserting that a world like that is the most uncanny and terrifyingly eerie one imaginable.) One of the most moving aspects of the story is Tiffany's reaction to the tragic death of a local woman who was accused of witchcraft, a thread that Pratchett picks up in a later Aching sequel, I Shall Wear Midnight.

The character of Tiffany is a great one: she is a quiet, watchful girl with strong opinions. She reads the dictionary and enjoys thinking about words. She can be counted on to do what needs doing even if it seems impossible or dangerous, and is unflinchingly observant of human nature, including her own. (For example, she pursues her younger brother less out of affection than from a sense of outraged ownership because he is, after all, her brother.)

Tiffany can easily join Meg Murry from A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle (let's not forget Mrs. Whatsit, Mrs. Who, and Mrs. Which, who could easily stand toe to toe with Nanny Ogg and Granny Weatherwax) or Coraline from Coraline by Neil Gaiman. I would also compare her to Victoria Wright from Claire Legrand's The Cavendish Home for Boys and Girls, another unsentimental but thoughtful heroine who boldly goes to rescue others from danger.

Good Omens

Good Omens by Terry Pratchett
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

When an angel and a demon mislay the Antichrist, the Apocalypse comes as expected - but doesn't proceed according to plan..

For fans of Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, it will be clear that the majority of the writing and style is Pratchett's. The humor, plus his ever-present humanism, is a lot like what you will find in the Discworld books. So you'll meet funny characters: witches who are ahead of their times, the Four Horseman (including Death, who speaks in all caps!) and the Satanic nuns, a gang of imaginative kids, a dog-like Hellhound, telephone salespeople, and bikers - all of whom will irresistibly remind you of the good people of Ankh-Morpork.


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P.S. A friend asked me why I didn't give this book more than three stars. Here is my response:

"While I enjoy the works of both of these writers, I confess that I can't fully love a book where two atheists reinterpret the Bible to fit their own worldview. That makes me a little uncomfortable, and I am definitely not a secular humanist like Pratchett.

If not for my philosophical differences, I might have enjoyed "Good Omens" as much as the best of the Discworld books (for me, "Small Gods" has the same problems with religion as "Good Omens"). A lot of people love this book to pieces, though, and you may not have the same reservations I did.

That's not to say that I don't find the characters charming and the book well-written. It's just a personal hangup that kept me from fully engaging in the story."

Found on Netflix Streaming

Yesterday I discovered that many classic Disney animated films are available. I promptly rewatched The Rescuers and The Rescuers Down Under (did you know that the poacher Percival C. McLeach is George C. Scott? Fantastic voice work!). So many childhood memories...and I only just realized how disturbing it is that the poacher spent his time interrogating the little boy by throwing knives at his head! Holy goodness! Scott's heartwarming version of "Home on the Range" still gets me, though.


*Tear*

Dumbo is there, too. No Cinderella or Beauty and the Beast. What gives, Disney?

Today I found out that Going Postal, the first Discworld book I ever read, is a movie, and it's available on streaming! So far so good! I like the Richard Coyle, who plays Moist (less impressed by Angua's stupid eye makeup, but I do like her sneer).

I enjoyed Hogfather a while back, which stars an actress Downton Abbey watchers know as Lady Mary Crawley (called Michelle Dockery in her real life). Lady Mary plays Susan, Death's adopted granddaughter.

Oh yeah, and Hogfather is also available streaming, as is The Color of Magic, which stars Sean Austin and Tim Curry, among others.

In short, what homework?

Snuff

Snuff by Terry Pratchett

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


Everyone knows that goblins are verminous creatures who smell terrible and hoard their own waste...but when a vacationing Commander Vimes discovers a murdered goblin girl he cannot ignore the call for justice.

Vimes is one of my favorite Discworld characters, but this isn't his best adventure. It's very straightforward and the bad guys feel invisible and ineffective against the crusading Duke. The action was difficult to follow at times. The plot lacked true suspense because Vimes wasn't confronted with an enemy who was his equal (especially after the way his adventures in Koom Valley changed him).

That said, the book is full of Pratchett's signature wit, and the last line of the book is priceless. (I could use a bit more of Lord Vetinari, but that's always the case!)



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Now Entering Discworld

Going Postal by Terry Pratchett
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Moist von Lipwig (what a name!) is a con artist who's finally gotten pinched by Ankh Morpork's authorities. On his way to the noose, he's given a choice by our favorite tyrant-for-life, Lord Vetinari: fix the broken-down postal service or choose the nasty death behind door number two. What's a con man to do?

This is the point where I entered Discworld, and I love the ingenious and flexible Moist. (Though my favorite subseries are the Watch novels starring the policeman Vimes.)

For another perspective on the best place to start reading Pratchett, try this review at The Estella Society.


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